The Glennies
by ladyinblue6
Summary: An entry for the Make Me Laugh Contest 2013. A little dive into how fun it is to be Scottish. Includes Celtic bands, fiddle playing, and insane Highland dancers. Proceed with caution.


Make Me Laugh Contest Entry

Title: The Glennies

Pen Name: ladyinblue6

Picture prompt used: 34

Rating: M

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, the music the boys play, or the idea of the Glen Lillies. I just happen to love all of these things enough to write about them. Enjoy!

* * *

**Edward**

"Smell that sweet Seattle air," Emmett said, breathing in deeply. "Smells like home."

"Smells like garbage," I muttered, wrinkling my nose, noticing the trash cans lining the alleyway.

Emmett chuckled. "Yeah, I've missed that."

I rolled my eyes and continued unloading our equipment from the van.

"You have to admit it's nice to be back for a while," Emmett continued. "I can't wait to sleep in my own bed in my parent's house."

I snorted. "You're such a mooch."

Emmett shrugged. "I'm living there for as long as I possibly can. Free food, no rent, laundry gets done for me..."

"Can't complain about that," I conceded. "C'mon, you gotta drag your own damn bagpipe into the bar. That thing's fucking heavy."

"Words of a weak man," he retorted, lifting up the case onto his shoulder and entering through the back door.

I grabbed my guitar and banjo and followed him.

We were at Up Yer Kilt, a Scottish pub in Seattle. The first place we played, actually. We were a Celtic rock band, and they just weren't all that popular. The fact that we even left Seattle was amazing to me still. What started out as a hobby turned into a full-time time suck, what with the three-month long tours and all the little stuff we did in Seattle. Pay wasn't great, but I loved every damn second of it.

Everything was set up and tuned and sound checked by 7:30, giving all of us plenty of time to drink and eat before the crowd arrived.

"Reckon it's gunna get busy, Gare?" I asked the owner.

"You bet yer ass," he replied in his gravely Scottish accent. "Told Mary Alice you were gunna be here. She's got the Glennies in a right state about tonight. 'Least you'll have some girls with nice stems to look at."

I chuckled. "That's all I ask for."

Gare grinned and started cleaning glasses. "So, how's life on the road?"

"Not bad," I said with a shrug. "I'd rather be on the road with these fuckers than sitting back at the uni trying to stay awake through classes."

"Aye," Gare agreed with a smirk. He poured me a pint and set it down in front of me. "You boys sure are good. 'Lot better than you were the first night you were here. 'Thought Em was gunna blow the windows out when he started playing the pipes."

I laughed, remembering how horrible Emmett had been those first few months. "Yeah, and Jasper got too drunk to compensate for his nerves and passed out during the intermission."

Gare joined in with my laughter. "Yep, nowhere but up from that, m'boy."

"Thank God for that," I said, lifting my pint to him.

Slowly, people start trickling into the bar. Garrett got busy behind the bar, so I joined the boys at the pool tables. Liam was a total shark, and I didn't know why Jas and Em even bothered letting him play with them.

I drank another pint while waiting for 9:30 to come around so we could get this show on the road. I set up the merch stand, but let one of Gare's guy's stand behind it. I didn't particularly feel like dealing with anyone just yet. Once some of these Scots got talking, there was no stopping them, and I was just as bad.

"Oi! Mary Alice!" Gare called from behind the bar. He was scowling at a skinny little girl that just walked through the door. She waved with both her hands, a smile breaking out on her face. "Get your arse over here!"

Mary Alice was Garrett's daughter, a fact that he made sure we were all aware of when he let us play on his stage. She had only been 16 the first night we played here, but her dad let her watch the music acts before he threw her into the back, where the stairs led up to the flat above the bar.

That hadn't stopped Jasper from getting her number when she was 18, and, fortunately, Garrett liked him.

Mary Alice skipped over to the bar and threw her arms around Gare. Five girls slowly trailed behind her. They obviously hadn't been here before. They were all staring, open-mouthed, at all the wall-hangings and the large, heavy wooden tables. Garrett had done a pretty good job at making this place authentic.

Garrett grinned as he listened to his daughter tell him a story. She used huge gestures, and they both ended up laughing. I saw her introduce her dad to all the girls she came with. Obviously these were the Glennies she brought.

The Glennies – formally known as the Glen Lilies – were the Highland dancers of Seattle. You had to be 21 to be in the group and you had to be a damn good dancer. The girls were usually very fit and pretty, and I loved seeing them come out to our gigs, 'cause they loved our music just as much as we loved watching them dance to it.

"'Eh!" I called to the boys, waving them over. "Let's get set up. There's a decent crowd here already. Might as well give 'em a show."

"I'm gunna go change!" Emmett said gleefully. It was twisted that his favourite part of the night was wearing his kilt with nothing on underneath.

I tugged my jeans higher up on my hips and stepped onto the stage, throwing my banjo over my head and putting my harmonica in my back pocket. Jas strummed his bass a few times, sending a wink Mary Alice's way. She rolled her eyes, but grinned back at him before coming up to the stage.

"Hey you," she said, grinning slyly. "Need some help up there? I got a friend that knows the fiddle and knows all your cover songs."

"A fiddle player, eh?" Jas asked. "You're sure he or she knows the songs?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't have said anything if she didn't," Mary Alice said exasperatedly. "Ask Da. She's good. But she only wants to play one song. Then she wants to drink and dance with the rest of the Glennies."

"What song's that?" I asked, curiously looking at her friends.

"'Lucky Today,'" Mary Alice told me. "She saw you guys added that cover a couple of weeks ago, and she's been obsessed."

"Send her over," I said with a shrug.

Mary Alice squealed before running back to her hens. She pulled one of the girls away from the crowd, dragging her to the back room where her fiddle probably was. Sure enough, not five minutes later, Mary Alice dragged the girl carrying her fiddle case up to the stage.

"Jas, Edward, meet Bella," Mary Alice announced. "State champ for dance _and_ fiddlin'."

"You sure you're comfortable enough to play the song on stage?" I asked.

She nodded. "I love the fiddle in that song. 'Couldn't stop playing it since I heard the song couple weeks ago."

"Don't let me down," I warned her with a smile.

She rolled her eyes, but climbed on stage. "Where should I plug in?"

Jas and I helped her with her wires and did a quick sound check. The girl could play that fiddle well.

"You know 'Devil Went Down to Georgia'?" I asked while we waited for Emmett and Liam.

She snorted. "What good fiddler doesn't?"

"Would you mind playing that, too?" I asked excitedly. "The birds love it, and we haven't had a fiddler in years. It's just not the same with the guitars."

Bella shrugged. "Sure. Just as long as it's only the two. I came here to drink, not to join a band."

"Well, if you ever wanna join a band, the offer stands," I said with a wry grin.

"I'll be sure to keep you in mind."

"Who's this?" Emmett asked as he got on stage. "When did we get a girl fiddler and why haven't I seen her yet? I would remember you. I'd definitely remember you." Emmett looked her up and down. "I'd remember your legs at the very least."

"Thanks," Bella said with wide eyes.

"Mary Alice introduced us," I told Emmett. "She's just gunna play 'Lucky Today' and 'Devil' with us. If that's okay with you two?" I looked at Liam, who shrugged. Emmett still hadn't taken his eyes off of Bella's legs, which were pretty spectacular.

"Oi, Emmett!" I called, smacking him across the back of the head. "Get your pipes. 'Lucky Today.'"

"Remind me to give you my number," he told Bella seriously. "You a Glennie?"

Bella nodded slowly, her eyes still wide.

Emmett groaned, palming his face. "You're either a gift from a God or the devil himself. Why are you so hot?" he asked loudly. "Fuck. 'Can't concentrate with stems like that on my stage..."

Bella let out a peal of laughter and then clapped a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry. I could borrow some jeans from Mary Alice, but then I won't be able to dance as well later."

"Don't change," Emmett interrupted. "Do. Not. Change."

She giggled and played with the strings of her fiddle.

I rolled my eyes and made sure everything was in place. Emmett prepped his pipes and then picked up his flute for the first song.

"Ready?" I asked everyone, grabbing mic. "1, 2, 3..."

I started playing the banjo for a few seconds and then brought Bella, Jas, and Liam into the mix. This was the first time we'd played this song live, and it sounded fucking phenomenal with Bella in the mix.

Mary Alice and the rest of the Glennies sat at the table by the dance floor and tapped the toes and drank their drinks quickly. Those Glennies sure did like to have fun.

After the song was over, and everyone finished clapping – and the Glennies stopped cheering for Bella – I introduced the band while waiting for Emmett to get his pipes situated.

"Hey everyone!" I said into the mic. "Welcome to Up Yer Kilt. 'Pretty fine evening for some damn good music, am I right?" The crowd cheered, causing me to grin. "We're Braw Bahooky! I'm Edward, your guitarist, singer, and banjo player-extraordinaire for the evening. We've got Emmett on the pipes, Liam on the drums, and Jasper on the bass. Thank you to our new friend, Bella, for bringing her dandy little fiddle along. We're gunna play one more song with Bella, and then it's back to business."

We started Devil Went Down to Georgia, causing most of the people to get up and dance. Bella stole the show with her wicked fiddling fingers. The Glennies had a little dance circle going, which Emmett soon infiltrated, leaving his pipes on the stage.

After the song finished, Bella bowed, a blush covering her cheeks. She quickly put her fiddle back in its case.

"Thanks again to Bella!" I said. Everyone whooped and cheered for her as she jumped off the stage. The Glennies attacked her, and Emmett ruffled her hair and kissed her on the cheek before joining us back on the stage.

"Now for a song about where I came from..."

We started our regular set, and played our little Celtic hearts out for our hometown crowd.

* * *

**Bella**

I grabbed two pints and sat down with Mary Alice and Angela, who were both already well on their way to being drunk enough to not care what this crowd thought of their ridiculous dancing. I began drinking, tapping my foot along to the music the band was producing. I was so happy that Mary Alice joined the Glennies on her 21 birthday, if only to introduce this band to me.

Rosalie, Jessica, and Tanya were on the dance floor, dancing like they were better than us. They weren't Glennies, just a few of the girls we had classes with at the uni. They shook their hips and held their beers up, smiling and bullshit.

I couldn't wait to see their faces when I got on the floor.

That thought made me drink even faster. I needed to lose my inhibitions. Quickly.

After finishing my first two pints, Angela, Mary Alice, and I all did a few whiskey shots. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the awful after taste of the corn whiskey that Angela loved. I was more of a rye whiskey girl, but it was a little harder to come by.

"You ready yet, Bella?" Mary Alice asked. "They're doing a Dropkick Murphy's song. I wanna dance!"

"Let's do it," I replied, grabbing the neck of my beer bottle and letting Mary Alice lead me to the dance floor.

Rose, Jess, and Tan sat down at our table while we were up at the bar, and almost no one was out dancing. They were playing McHaggis, which forced my feet to start jumping and rolling. I chugged my beer and slammed it on the table and joined my two friends. The three of us were all doing different dance moves, but we were all a little bit crazy. I was still sober enough to feel the eyes on me, but I was drunk enough to not care.

I commended myself for wearing my Converse instead of heels like those other three. I started shuffling and rolling and swinging around in a reel with Mary Alice.

"This band rocks!" I exclaimed.

I heard Edward chuckle into the mic. "Thanks, lassy."

The night continued on in much of the same fashion. The drunker I got, the more ridiculous the dancing got. Mary Alice was the only one that kept up with me, but as soon as I grabbed some guys to dance with us, she balked.

"Ah, come off your horse, Mary Alice," I said, grabbing the better looking guys arm.

"My boyfriend's right there, Bella!"

"Fuck your boyfriend!" I exclaimed. I looked up at the stage. "Fuck you, Jasper!"

Jasper just smiled, and said, "Thank you, Mary Alice."

Mary Alice smiled and blew him a kiss before going and sitting down with the other girls. I shrugged and danced with both of the guys, forcing them to link arms with me. If I had any sense about me, I wouldn't have given them the time of day, 'cause after I danced with them once, they wouldn't leave me alone.

Finally a slow song came on and I ditched the guys and sat down with my girls.

"This is way too much fun," I announced, throwing myself into the chair left open for me.

"I didn't know you could, um, _dance_ like that, Bella," Jessica said in her usual snotty voice.

"I'm the best dancer I know," I told her with a grin, grabbing my beer and taking a hearty gulp.

"'Must not know many dancers," Tanya said with a snarky smile.

"Ah, but I know you, Tan," I replied.

Her smile quickly disappeared.

"Okay, lads, this is gunna be the last song of the night." The crowd groaned. "Yeah, yeah, we suck, but we're all outta songs! Next time we're here we'll bring a few new ones for all of you. So, here's Drink and Fight. Perfect song to end the night on."

Emmett started on the pipes slowly. If they played a slow song at the end of the night, I'd be right pissed.

It slowly picked up and Edward did some cheering with the crowd, which we all joined in with. I quickly stood up, dragging Ang and Mary Alice with me to the dance floor. It was quickly turning into a mosh pit and I could feel the sweat dripping down my back.

"We're gunna..." Edward sang, dragging it out, "drink and fight, and drink and fight..."

Everyone began jumping up and down, hands in the air, elbows in the face. I closed my eyes and jumped around in my own little circle, hardly breathing at all, and loving every single disgusting second of being squished between all these people that I didn't know.

They reached a slow part of the song and everyone slowed, but kept moving back and forth, anticipating the next tempo change. I looked up at the stage, specifically at Edward, who looked incredibly hot in his black clothes, with tattoos on his arms and wild, sweat-drenched hair. He growled, "We're gunna..." into the mic again, and my knees bent in anticipation. It started again, and I screamed before laughing as I jumped around with the rest of the crazy Scots.

I pushed my way to the front and held my hand out to Edward, which he immediately grabbed. I climbed on stage and grinned, waving my arms, before turning around and letting myself fall into the crowd.

Luckily they caught me and carried me around the tiny dance floor before giving me back to Edward, who grabbed my hand again and wrapped his arm around my waist to keep me from jumping again.

During a short break, he turned away from the mic and said, "Go stand with Liam so you don't go jumping off the stage again."

I smirked at him before going back to Liam and dancing along to the music.

After they finally closed the song and said there thank you's and goodnight's, I left the stage, heading to the bar to meet up with Mary Alice.

"Bella, that was awesome!" Mary Alice exclaimed when I finally found her. "I wish I would've done it, but Da would've killed me."

I grabbed a tray and asked for five pints from Mary Alice's dad. I scooped them up and headed to the stage, where the boys were finishing unplugging chords and putting instruments away.

Putting my fingers between my teeth, I whistled, immediately grabbing everyone's attention.

"Pint?" I asked, holding my own up.

They all scrambled over to me.

"Thanks, Bella!" Emmett exclaimed before taking a large gulp. "Nice crowd surf by the way. I hope someone caught that on video." He jumped off the stage, wrapping a stinky arm around me. "Our first crowd surfer. I'm so proud."

"Glad I popped your cherry," I said cheekily, taking a drink of my own pint. "You guys put on a pretty good show, I've gotta say."

"So do you," Liam said with a smirk. "I like your moves."

I laughed. "You do, eh? Made 'em specially for you, Liam." I gave him a wink, and he looked down, smiling shyly.

"So you're a Glennie, then," Edward stated.

I nodded proudly. "For the past three years."

"Those other three," he nodded his chin to the three blondes still sitting at the table, "aren't though."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Mary Alice told them you were all hot, so they decided to come. We have classes at the uni together."

"When's your next show?" Edward asked me.

"Tomorrow," I said, smiling into my beer.

"Where?"

"Here."

"Can't wait," Edward said with a grin. "Those stems probably look even better all covered up in tartan."

"You bet your bottom dollar," I told him.

"I'm just gunna clean this shit up, and then you wanna grab a table and some pints?" Edward asked.

"I'll be waiting by the bar," I told him with a grin.

* * *

**Edward**

"Let's speed this up, please," I told the boys as I threw stuff into the back of the van.

"You got a hot date?" Liam asked teasingly.

"The hottest date," I corrected.

"Knew I should've moved in quicker," Emmett grumbled. He flashed me a quick grin to let me know he was joking. He and I usually competed with each other with girls, and this was one that I was not gunna back down from.

"Well, I'll see you guys later," I said as I put the last amp in. "Or maybe not." I winked and the boys chuckled. "See you tomorrow at least. Gotta watch the Glennies."

Liam and Emmett whooped and bumped chests.

I rolled my eyes and headed back inside the beautiful brunette with the stems and fiddler fingers.

When I got back inside, I immediately saw Mary Alice and Jasper gobbing at the bar, and Gare about to spray them down with the water hose, and I saw Bella shoving bottles of unopened beer into her purse.

"Want some help?" I offered when I got close enough.

"Yes, please," she said, grabbing one of my belt loops and tugging. Suddenly, she shoved a beer down the front of my pants. And then a few more. Then she put one in each of the pockets of my jeans.

"That's all of 'em!" she said proudly, grinning up at me. She grabbed my hand. "Let's take a walk."

"Um, sure," I said, following her.

We went outside and started heading down the street.

"May I ask where we're going?" I said after walking a block.

"My house," she replied cheerfully.

"Is your house close?"

"Only a couple of blocks."

She really did only live three blocks away from the bar to my relief. She unlocked the door and entered, clattering around the porch loudly, pulling her shoes off and throwing her jacket onto a chair. I followed suit and then she led me into a living room.

"So, Edward," she began, sitting down on the couch, crossing her bare legs, "would you care for a pants beer?" Then she giggled.

"That's the only beer I drink," I told her seriously, before pulling the beer that had been directly on top of my dick out of my pants. I grabbed the rest of my pants beer and set them on the coffee table. "You gotta fridge? I'll let some of these pants beer cool down a bit."

She helped me grab the beer and we took them to her well-stocked fridge.

"You want something to eat?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Only if you feel like cooking," I replied.

"I am an amazing cook," Bella said. "Among other things."

"Like playing the fiddle and dancing?" I guessed with a grin.

"Exactly," she replied solemnly. "Now, how do you feel about grilled ham and cheese?"

After cooking four grilled ham and cheese, we wandered back to the living room with our beers. We began talking about Bella's degree-in-progress (European history), her dancing, her fiddling, and everything in between. I gave her the band's history and my history.

"I guess this would be the part where I'd kiss you," I blurted after I told her about my bitchy ex.

She shrugged. "I'm kind of tired. Wanna sleep in the most comfortable bed in the world?"

I grinned slowly. "I'd love to."

I followed her up the stairs and into a large room with a king-sized bed. Bella looked up at my and grinned before dropping my hand and scrambling onto the bed. She began jumping up and down, laughing and begging me to join her.

Of course I joined her. I was a 28-year-old in a band. My mentality was much closer to 17 than 28.

After a few minutes of jumping, we collapsed on her bed and looked at each other. I cupped her cheek in my hand and kissed her smiling lips. She reciprocated immediately.

We made out for a while on her bed, slowly shifting around so that she was laying down and I was hovering over top of her. I broke away from her mouth and started kissing my way down her neck to her collarbone. Her hands gripped my hair a little tighter when I sucked on her skin and her breathing hitched.

"You like that?" I asked with a smirk.

She nodded, her eyes closed.

I went back to kissing her lips and slipped my hand under her top, making my way up her hips, waist, and ribcage to her tits. Her shirt was loose, and made it seem like they were smaller than they were. These were decent sized tits. I cupped the left one in my hand and squeeze gently. Bella's legs jerked a little, her knees coming up and bracketing my hips. I ran my thumb over the nipple and her hips bucked up into my crotch, forcing me to let out a moan.

"Fuck," Bella moaned. "I hate to be rain on the parade, but I just... I can't go any further than this, Edward."

"I'm sorry," I said immediately, pushing myself off of her, nervous that she felt like I was forcing her.

She giggled, running one hand through my hair. "It's just a bad time, y'know?" She searched my eyes. "Bad time of the month."

I let out a relieved breath. "Okay. Well, there's other things we can do, eh?"

She grinned. "Hell yeah." She grabbed me by the neck and rolled us over so she was straddling me. Bella quickly pulled her shirt over her head and undid her bra, throwing it onto the floor. Yep. Fantastic tits.

I hadn't dry humped anyway in years, but, fuck if this girl didn't know exactly how to move those hips. I groaned into her mouth as she rode me, grinding right into my hard dick.

"I'd give you a blow job, but you were all sweaty," she said smiling before sucking on my earlobe. "Maybe next time."

"Fucking rights," I ground out, holding her hips down as I came in my pants.

Bella climbed off of me and went into the bathroom, coming back with some Kleenexes and a pair of clean boxers. I held the boxers up with a quirked eyebrow.

"I like to wear them to bed," she said with a shrug. "They might be a little tight on you, but you'll have to make due."

"Maybe I'll just sleep naked," I retorted with a wolfish grin.

Bella laughed. "There's always that option, too."

"I'm gunna take a shower," I said suddenly. "Don't wanna force you to hold back next time." I stood up and winked before leaving the room.

"Don't flatter yourself!" she called after me. "'Just said that so you'd get your rocks off so I can sleep!"

I laughed all the way into the bathroom.

* * *

_So, it's been a while since I entered into this contest, but pretty much as soon as I finished writing this, life got right crazy. I didn't even get to send in an edited version of this! So embarrassing..._

_Got a new job, moved houses, started working a ridiculous amount more than I used to... Anyway, enough of my sob story. _

_Thanks for the reviews on the Make Me Laugh page... _

_One of the questions was if the story is in America or Scotland, and this takes place in America. I'm planning on expanding this (hopefully soon!), and all of the background on that will be answered in chapters to come. ;)_

_Thank you to everyone that supported my very last minute attempt at being funny. :) I'm glad some of you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!_

_lib6_

_(Music is completely and totally inspired by The Mud Men, a Celtic band here in Canada. I've seen them twice, and this one-shot is 100% an accurate description of what happens when us Scots get together for a little Celtic fun. Other than hooking up with the boys. They're a bit older than I am ha. BUT GIVE 'EM A LISTEN. OR FLOGGING MOLLY.)_


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